Self-Coaching and Being Determined During Tough Times

Today I'm feeling a great sense of peace with my goals or aspirations in life. I know that they are attainable. I know that I WILL accomplish them. More importantly, I am confident in my level of determination to reach them. I know, without question, that I will NOT give up.

I have not always been confident about myself, but I would say that through most of my life, especially during the hardest of times, I have been able to look deep within myself in order to find a reason to continue on, to have the drive and desire to succeed in spite of whatever adverse condition I am exposed to. Whenever I acknowledge some of the hardships that I have been able to get through and I look at the things that I have achieved in life, I think to myself, "Man, that was rough, but I DID IT." I had a counselor remind me that there are a lot of people that DON'T get through the things that I've experienced in my life. She asked me, "HOW did you do that?" I think I've finally come up with an answer and it is that, somewhere along the way, step by step, I must have learned how to coach myself through it all.

Self-coaching isn't always the easiest thing to do. There are situations and, even people, that are sources of struggle or distress in our lives on a DAILY basis. I operate under the belief that if you stay focused and are determined to get through these situations or cope with these people and come out the other end in a positive way you CAN and WILL do just that. A great life coach and fitness guru that I look up to, Chalene Johnson says, "You are the greatest coach that you'll ever have". That being said, as you become your greatest self-coach you will have to consistently teach yourself new and inspiring things and challenge yourself to perform at your maximum potential in order to reach your goals.

There are a lot of folks out there that might argue with me and say that some people aren't born with enough determination, confidence or motivation. It's a common misconception that people are just born athletes or are natural musicians so that they have a tendency to aspire to certain things. Science has discovered that our environment and habits play an integral role in shaping, not just our behaviors, but also the physiological processes that affect us. More and more, we're discovering that the ability we have to acquire skills and how we perform them is dependent upon exposing ourselves to repeated behaviors. In other words, we now know that personal ability to mentally or physically be better at a certain skill is something that is conditioned into us or learned over a period of time.

I believe that personal behavioral traits such as confidence, determination, desire or interest, motivation and the ability to coach oneself or others are acquired skills that can be fine-tuned just as much as any other aspect of ourselves. A person's ability to compute math, write well, speak a language, dance, run, jump, throw a ball and use a firearm are experience based ACTIONS that start by learning steps. Each step is performed singularly and then, repeated one at a time until you establish a pattern of performance. Thus, every step, any operation, or movement, to include our thoughts can be trained. 

If a person wants to get good at something, he or she must train him or herself to be good at it. Start ONE thing at a time. Here are five ways that I think I've gotten good at coaching myself:

 

 

1. Be FEAR SMART, not necessarily FEAR LESS.

   Identify fears, but continue on ANYWAY.

   Fear is natural, but if you ignore it you're likely to have a bad case of nerves & built up anxiety sway you from doing something. Embrace it, analyze whether or not there is a good enough reason to continue on the path that you're on. I usually go by a personal rule that if I can come up with TWO big reasons to continue doing something, I will persevere.

2. BE CURIOUS. Learn to self analyze.

   Ask questions about EVERYTHING—especially yourself. Ask questions to other people about yourself. If your ship is making odd sounds while in foreign waters, you'd better start to RESEARCH your machine to find out how it operates! If you don't know where to start-you'll have to look in every nook and cranny. In other words, you may have to dig deep to find out what makes you tick. If you find a leak or something that you'd like to repair, don't whine about how terrible your ship is or that you don't know how to fix it. Instead, focus on what you CAN do. Try every tool you can find or enlist a professional, family member, friend or other fellow ship mate to help you attack the issue.

3. ADD to your metaphorical “TOOLBOX” and continue your education.

   Having more tools or resources means that you'll be more likely to be able to fix that leak yourself or quickly find a way to GET it fixed for you. Pick up a book, magazine or find a good blog from a knowledgeable person. Go to the library. Take a class. Get a certification. Find a seminar and GO TO IT. Start a group. Collaborate with people that know more about whatever it is you're trying to do. Learning IS POWER.

4. Do the “...YET I...” exercise.

   This ALLOWS yourself to FEEL pain or grieve, take a BREATH and LITERALLY shake it off (even if this “shaking it off” part has to come later). This gets your head back in “the game” or helps you focus. Everyone has a bad day. We all want to cry, scream, wallow, get angry, feel fat, tired, poor or broken. Don't ignore these things; rather, say (out loud to yourself, if you must)—I AM SAD; yet, I CONTINUE ON” or “I AM ANGRY; yet, I FORGIVE. I am teaching myself to say “yet, I...” instead of “but, I...” because saying yet allows a feeling to exist WHILE you perform an action whereas using a “but...” statement requires you to put emphasis on the action INSTEAD of the feeling. Yet allows for simultaneous existence of a feeling while you engage in a separate feeling or action. This is, I think, more effective for TEMPORARY situations of crisis or self-doubt to get you through an immediate and stressful situation.

5. TRY AGAIN at changing your self talk and habits.

   If you tell yourself you're ugly, TRY AGAIN to tell yourself you're beautiful. If you tell yourself that you can't, TRY AGAIN to tell yourself that yes, you can. If you eat a giant piece of cake, TRY AGAIN to eat the fruit. If you tell yourself that you're too stupid to do that new thing, TRY AGAIN to tell yourself that you WILL try it. If you tell yourself that you could never do that, TRY AGAIN to tell yourself let us see if I can do this. TRY AGAIN to TRY AGAIN. REPEAT.

 

Making myself a better person!

I don't know about you all, but when I eat like crap and don't get up and get some physical activity, I feel like CRAP! I motivate myself with knowing how nice it is to not feel depressed, and over weight, with aching joints. I stick with it by telling myself how great it will be when I'm not too tired to sleep, or sleeping too much, anxious, worried, angry, guilty... scatterbrained.

Shall I continue? Maybe not, but I WILL: stomach pains, gas, irregular bowels, headaches/migraines, sinus problems, recurring colds/respiratory/ear/nose/throat issues, mindless eating, skin problems, back pain, kidney pain, nausea, urinary tract issues and imbalanced mood & sexual health related issues. All of these issues have the potential to be alleviated (sometimes disappearing COMPLETELY) with the right nutrition, physical activity & training yourself to have a positive outlook towards yourself.

Within just a few weeks of cleaning up my eating, making a schedule for myself, setting goals, sticking to my To-Do list, accomplishing goals, praising myself and getting my butt moving so that I can lose/maintain fat and build my muscle, I feel better. I feel stronger. I feel focused. I feel calm, but full of energy. It builds my self-esteem. I am confident.

I do this for my kids, my community, for all of you, and for ME. I do this for US. What are you doing to make yourself?

One Day at a Time

Good morning! Just finished listening to Monday's Team Beachbody Coach Wake Up call from this AMAZING woman, Mindy Lawhorne talking about how Turbo Jam helped her drop 60lbs and how it changed her life! I can relate SO much to her story! You DON'T have to start out as an athlete to get HEALTHY!

 

I was thinking about how tired & depressed I was EVERY day and the difference for myself between then and now is like NIGHT and DAY! We all have the power inside us to do WHATEVER we choose with TODAY. One day builds into a lifestyle! WHOOP, WHOOP! ~Coach Lisa

You're Under Construction! :-)

Good morning, everyone!

This morning I've been thinking about how much I really believe that it's important to think about what you're ADDING into your life instead of focusing on how you need to LIMIT yourself or RESTRICT yourself. If you fill your life with actions that make you feel good, healthy and unstoppable--you're paving the way for success and there's not room for the negative stuff anymore! It's not just changing your lifestyle, you've got to change your mindset.

One of my favorite superstar athletes, Pauline Nordin, creator of The Butt Bible and Fighter Diet, says, "I turned my control obsession to building my body instead of tearing it down." I don't know about you, but I want POSITIVE progress that lasts--NOT gains that are temporary and negative. Think of yourself or your life as being UNDER CONSTRUCTION. This is a remodel, and you're not just tearing yourself down! ~L.

How do I become more confident?

Building your Self-Esteem through Action!!!!

This past week, I've really worked hard at sticking to my "To-Do" list and, as a result, I've been EXTREMELY productive! There's a lot to be said for raising your self-esteem and building confidence by accomplishing the things you set out to achieve. It's hard not to beat yourself up if you have all these things that you need or want to do, but don't do them for some reason or another. As a bit of an idealist, I think that the easiest way to swim down into the depths of negativity is for your life to feel out of balance with the things you idealize as being important in life. 

When you start looking around at different aspects of your life and realizing that reality isn't quite up to par with your expectations, depression and anxiety are BOUND to plague you. One of the best ways to battle that sudden feeling of ''injustice'' or ''inequality'' between real life and the life of your dreams is to MAKE your real life line up with your dreams as much as possible EVERY DAY! 

Being able to be confident that your dreams ARE achievable is a big step towards creating self-happiness and contentment. How can you make yourself feel good, stand tall, believe in yourself and battle that self-talk that tries to tell you, "YOU CAN'T"? By making a list of the things that I'd like to get done and then being able to have it in front of me and cross it off one item at a time, knowing all the hard work that I put towards trying to get things done has paid off, really makes me feel proud of myself. 

It also gives me a sense of hope! Hopeful that I REALLY COULD do some amazing things in life if I just stay focused. Then, I look down at my list & I say to myself, "Oh, but WAIT! You HAVE been doing some amazing things, ALREADY!" An amazing feeling to set some goals for myself & get them DONE! What kinds of things are YOU setting out to do to make your life closer to your dreams? Write them down. Take small steps to map out a plan for yourself to work a little bit at a time towards achieving a larger goal. One of my favorite places to visit for good articles on things like goal setting and time management in order to increase my productivty is Mind Tools. Check out their article Personal Goal Setting: Planning to Live Life Your Way. 

I was going over Day 18: Confidence Through Action in Chalene Johnson's 30 Day Challenge to Master Organization and Achieve Your Goals (AGAIN--this IS the fourth time I've done this challenge...hehehe) and one of the assignments that she gives you is to think of 3 things that you've done recently that boosted your confidence. The things below are things that I've done this past week that helped ROCKET my self-esteem from "BLAH" to "RAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWR!" :) You're only as amazing as you believe yourself to be so, DO SOMETHING, every day to help you realize your own potential for greatness.

Amazing things I've done this past week: 

•  I started writing “my story” at the advice of Brenden Burchard to help market my services as a coach. 
• I put together the beginnings of a coaching packet for my Personal Training business that I’m trying to build & started working with my mother-in-law on her own journey to a healthier her.
•  I registered for two classes at Eastern Washington University to squeeze out 6 more credits of the 37 credits more that I need to graduate with my BA in Community Health and Health Leadership. 
• I finally started watching/reading all the info in my Coach Online Office/Coach Training Academy in Team Beachbody to help me be the most informed Independent Team Beachbody Coach that I can be in order to help people. 

☼☼☼ ~Coach Lisa 

What Happens When You "BURN FAT" or "BUILD MUSCLE"?

I keep reading a lot of posts on Facebook lately about how happy people are with the results they're seeing. This is GREAT! One thing I want to make sure of though, is that people are clear about WHAT KIND of results they are actually seeing and WHAT CHANGES they are going through. It's important to know what's actually happening in your body when you're trying to ''burn fat'' or ''build muscle''. Without this kind of awareness, your long term effectiveness during a workout will be diminished. You can build muscle without lifting ''weights'' (ie: free weights/using machines), but you still need to strength train for muscle growth using SOME kind of weight (ie: kids, furniture, gallons of water, sand bags, pulling tires, pulling/pushing/lifting your own body weight,  etc.). 

Contrary to popular belief, fat cells do NOT "turn into muscle". As adults, we no longer go through the process of "Hyperplasia", an  increase in the amount of muscle cells we have in our bodies--this only occurs in childhood/adolescence. Instead, we go through a process called, "Hypertrophy", where the muscle cells themselves increase in size. 'Toning' your muscles is what happens when you BURN subcutaneous fat. Since your body fat percentage is lower, your muscle definition shows through. 

Also, interestingly enough, current research suggests that we don't actually add or subtract more fat cells from our bodies, instead, the scientific community asserts that the fat cells themselves lose or gain lipids within the actual cell nucleus which makes the cells themselves smaller or larger, respectively. That being said, just because you are starting to look ''toned'' doesn't mean you are, in fact, GAINING lean muscle mass.  It could just mean that you are lowering your overall body fat percentage. This, along with fluid loss or "water weight" can also account for staying at ''the same weight" but noticing changes in the way that your clothing fits.

All of this is one of the reasons that learning to tape/measure yourself is imperative during your journey of fat ''loss'' or muscle ''gain''. The scale CAN be a useful tool--especially if you have more than 50 pounds to lose. It's good to know your weight fluctuations, but it's too easy to allow the scale to become a Stalin-like dictator who orders you around on a day-to-day basis, adds to your self-doubt & sidetracks you from your goals. If you're uncomfortable measuring/taping yourself, find someone close to you who will learn to do it for you and take LOTS of pics in the same clothes standing in the same spot--you'll be much happier with your results and more motivated knowing that you're being productive during your efforts.

☼☼☼ ~Coach Lisa

Related Articles:

Muscle Turns to Fat? Bodybuilding Myths Dispelled
How Fat Cells Work
Your Fat Cells Remain Constant Throughout Your Life